Why would anyone want a crowd?
I see it. Colorful, bustling, loud, pointing, aggressive, energy.
Why do we desire crowds?
Why have I wished they would look this way, or that way?
I guess to harness their focus, and voice, and energy toward whatever cause mattered to me most at the time.
I guess because when a crowd arrives, it seems like what you are doing is important and matters. I guess because I believed the crowd made me or my effort seem valuable because so many people were ‘following’.
I don’t even know what ‘following’ or ‘friending’ means any more.
I have seldom had crowds, very seldom, and if I had them it was only for a borrowed moment for a certain purpose. The crowd was never mine.
I have never pleased them. From when I was little- I wasn’t familiar enough. When I was older- I wasn’t pretty enough or rich enough. When I launched out on my own, I wasn’t main stream enough. I have always been reaching for the few who would listen and that has been heavy and frustrating at times.
I have never been packaged well.
The crowd likes a package to take a hold of and open up and understand and fit inside their pocket. Pleasing colors, clever slogans, eye appealing design. I have never had that.
My colors have always been black and white. My word was choice, and it has mostly always been confrontational.
Now I am wary of the crowd, no thank you- Jesus is plenty enough.
When the crowd turns toward you it can be intoxicating with its adoration, I have seen many slip into stupid.
Almost without exception, I see the crowd lift the adored up into their hands and celebrate this life, this idea, this product, this thing….for a while….sometimes a long while….but it never lasts. The crowd will turn its gaze to something new, either because they found a fault in the formerly adored or they lost interest and grew bored. I have watched the adored one fall to the ground over and over again and either be left behind or worse, be trampled beneath crushing judgement.
It is in those moments through the years that taught me to thank God for the ‘lack of crowd’ in my life.
Jesus finally did have a crowd. The pressed in so close he had to sit in a boat to talk to them. They really wanted him for a little while- his bread and fish and healing. His words were confusing and his followers were weird, but crazy stuff always happened when he was around.
This was not lost on Jesus, he knew exactly what was in a crowd.
I love what Oswald Chambers says about the Mount of Transfiguration. He said that Jesus could’ve gone home that day. He could have returned to the Father with Elijah and Moses, but if had, he would’ve gone home alone.
He left that mountain and returned to the crowd knowing they would betray him and kill him and knowing that in doing so- He would be opening up the way to the Father for them.
If I am ever called to a crowd Daddy- give me the courage that you gave your Son because I am certain they will love me for a little while and then kill me too. Let love make me brave and willing.
For God so loved the world. Amazing